Adapted for the Internet from:Why God Doesn't Exist |

The idiots of Quantum say that a cat can be simultaneously dead and alive ! |

I hope for the sake of all of us that this cat is at least half dead. |

M. Tegmark, The Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics: Many Worlds or Many Words? arXiv:quant-ph/9709032v1 (Sep. 15, 1997). D. Page, Observational Consequences of Many-Worlds Quantum Theory,arXiv:quant-ph/9904004v2 (May 3, 1999). J. Higgo, Does the 'many-worlds' interpretation of quantum mechanics imply immortality? (Nov. 10, 1998) |

1-800-You Stupid Relativistor 1-800-Einstein's Idiots |

Okay folks. Let's keep things strictly within a scientific regime. Remember that we have limited funding for these momentous experiments. In our first séance, we will attempt to determine whether the cat is alive or dead. Our second experiment will attempt to prove whether the cat thinks it is alive or dead in this universe. |

We need to call Dr. Jones urgently so that he can determine whether our friend is dead. |