What happened to the Neanderthals?

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    Over 90% of paleontologists, anthropologists, geologists, and other professionals in related disciplines
    theorize and believe that humans caused the extinction of the Neanderthals either through love or through
    war. The Paleo Establishment simply cannot conceive of Neanderthals disappearing all by themselves
    without the help of Man. In fact, the rising paradigm of intermarriage has infected the guild so much that
    the worldly wisdom among the scholars is that Neanderthals actually did not become extinct. They became
    us. We are the Neanderthals. After 200 years of Paleontology, the members of this guild ended up
    concluding that species never become extinct. They always 'evolve'. Dimetrodons and therapsids became
    mammals, dinosaurs evolved into birds, and the Neanderthals turned into modern humans. That's what the
    new generations coming out of college are taught to repeat like parrots when they take their exams.

    A third but smaller group of theorists subscribe to the old death-by-freezing theory. These holdouts insist
    that Snowman Neanderthal, who evolved under forbidding Arctic climates, simply couldn't stand the cold.
    Many of the love and war factions are also environmentalists at heart. When they can't explain a
    phenomenon, they also fall back on the weather, for instance, to explain migrations. In order to get their
    point across, the entire establishment has gotten into the habit of making Neanderthal look ever more
    human and has for some years now dressed him up in clothes.

    A much smaller cullt is the ever present catastrophist, individuals who try to make a name for themselves
    like Alvarez did by claiming that an asteroid or a volcano killed our cousins. Lesser theories include:



    Failed to develop trade? WTF???

    What will the editors print next? They reject submissions on grounds that editorial space is limited. Then
    they publish rubbish such as that the Neanderthals disappeared because the Rock Market collapsed.

    Of course, with so much nonsense that the journals fill their pages with, it is not surprising that there is no
    space left for rational arguments and criticisms. One has no option but to place his theories online in
    blogs or in Youtube videos. This is not an issue of avoiding peer review and criticism. This is an issue
    where the theories that contradict what the anonymous peers have learned by rote and through authority
    have no chance of seeing the light of day. The peer reviewers have already made up their minds. They
    'know' exactly how the Neanderthals disappeared and no one else will be allowed to make their competing
    theories available to the public.

    Below is a back-of-the-napkin analysis of each of the main theories kicked around in the corridors of
    orthodoxy today. The only question is whether we should laugh at the proposals or cry for the state of
    Paleontology.
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The History of Life on Earth
O
The Paleo Establishment's main theories
regarding the extinction of the Neanderthals
    

Love   

War   

Climate   

Volcano   

Disease   

Trade   


How
Woolly died