Einstein not only claims that each twin experiences different measures of chronological time, but that this effect is real. He alleges that the traveling twin does not physically age as much as his brother! The mathematicians had to put their reputations on the line for else no one would take them seriously. If the twin merely got the impression that only 20 years went by after 80 Earth revolutions, this would have been a case for the funny farm and not for Physics. Had Einstein dedicated a fraction of his time to learning a little bit about biology he would have realized that it is inconceivable to deduce a mathematical formula that reflects ‘aging’ as a function of time. The idiots of Mathematics routinely use the case of actuaries to convince you that they can predict when a person will die. They are so enmeshed in their equations and functions that they do not realize that the analogy is not even close. Relativists confuse the statistical probabilities calculated by actuaries with a precise mathematical equation customized by the Fates specifically for you. [1] The first one is a mathematical relation; the second one is a physical reality contingent upon your state of health and your luck with accidents. Ask an actuary which point on his curve is you. If he can tell you without error, you are not talking to a statistician. You are standing before God! Relativists don’t seem to factor that an actuary must first collect data before he builds his tables. The more data, the more the ‘predictions’ change. Estimates are guesses, not predictions. Aging has to do with a myriad of processes and/or diseases that can be loosely defined as cumulative wear and tear of cells and molecules that constitute the body. Some of these diseases, like growing white hair and wrinkled skin, appear to be harmless. Others, like cancer and Alheimer's disease, are a bit more serious. The event underlying aging is deterioration. The rotten tomato in the box simply ‘ages’ faster than its healthy twin. Aging is the rate of biological change, of which gravity is the most persistent factor. Some people ‘age’ faster, for example, because of their greater exposure to chemicals or to radiation that strips atoms or entire molecules from their DNA, or because of the propensity of their metabolisms to deteriorate at a higher rate. [By chemicals I mean anything we consume. By cosmic radiation I mean the myriad of high frequency electromagnetic phenomena that bombard our cells every second from space.] The integrity of the next generation DNA is thus compromised and subsequent splitting results in DNA that does not measure up to the glory of their forefathers. But mutation is only one of the ways we ‘wear out’. At the cell level it is friction that wears the body out. The body loses its capacity to replace cells that have become worn or damaged. Or the immune system weakens, or betrays the body it swore to defend, or hormonal imbalances set in. Biologists are still investigating the countless processes affecting the organic world that we lump under the generic term ‘aging’. There is an aging related sickness known as progeriathat ridicules Pastor Al’s biological time dilation nonsense out of existence. In 10 years of chronological time a normal human being ages arithmetically from 10 to 20 years and is in the prime of his youth. An individual with progeria, instead, undergoes exponential biological change, aging comparably from 10 to 80 in the same period. His skin becomes wrinkled, he acquires diseases typically associated with old age, and only rarely does a progeria patient outlive the age of 15. Would Einstein suggest that such unfortunate individuals are trapped in local time warps? If the adventurous twin 'contracts' progeria during a pit stop in Pluto, will his aging brother and a miscalculating Einstein remove a cryoed mummy from the saucer (Fig. 1)?

Fig. 1

Al’s gedanken twin ‘catches’ progeria during a pit stop in Pluto

Indeed, tiny animals, for example insects, all suffer extreme bouts of progeria. Some, like flies and mosquitoes, tend to have very short lifespans, sometimes measured in terms of days or weeks. Trees and turtles are at the other extreme. They age slowly, sometimes living hundreds of years. Some land turtles are known to have lived for 300 years and some trees for over 4000. How can Einstein correlate these facts to biological time dilation if the Earth orbits the Sun the same for all of us? The fact that for some the Earth revolves around the Sun 5 times and for others 30 times before a disease has a bearing clearly refutes Einstein’s biological time dilation theory. There are no such things as time or aging. These are opinions of stupid humans who can’t see the forest for the trees. There are only cells, muscles, and bones. These are the objects that are affected by diseases, wear and tear, and other factors. Indeed, biologists have found a direct correlation between longevity and the number of duplications of certain cells. Reproducible human cells split from 40 to 60 times before they die. Cells of a long-lived tortoise reproduce up to 300 times and those of chickens, which typically live around 15 years, duplicate 15 to 35 times. Cells that split forever are called cancerous. Does Einstein propose that everything else remaining constant, because of acceleration and deceleration and gravity, cells in the traveling twin split at a slower rate? Or is he proposing that, like a turtle or a tree, the number of times cells split in the traveling twin is greater? How would he justify either argument with his stupid relativistic equations? But if Einstein insists that the twins physically deteriorated at radically different rates because of time, the scientific method requires that he include within his paper the process whereby time physically wrinkles skin and grays hair. How do those chronons do it? We could, for instance, place a man in a controlled setting with a watch, and Al would merely need to show how the particles of time emanating from the watch touch the man’s dark hair and gradually paint it gray. An accurate measurement of the change in wavelength emanating from the hair can serve as proof that his theory is correct! Instead, I propose a better experiment to do away with biological aging altogether so that we don’t waste more time with this nonsense. The traveling twin does not take an atomic clock with him, except maybe to use as a stool. He takes the end of an extremely long chord or rope. Every so many kilometers on this lengthy chord, there is a knot. Instead of measuring time the confusing mathematical way, with clocks, the twins are going to keep track of time the way sailors used to count nautical distances, or the way Catholics count prayers by moving with their fingers along beads on a rosary. The twins are going to keep track of orbits by counting knots. One knot equals one revolution of Earth around the Sun. It’s just that simple. The traveling twin will simply count a knot every 940 million km, which is the distance the Earth travels in a year. Since we now know that distance may not contract irrespective of speed, we will not need one of those high level equations (that seem to mislead relativists so much) to figure out how many years went by. We will simply need to learn basic arithmetic. You know. Like counting apples or candies. The traveling twin goes off, turns, twists, stops, comes back, and meets his brother again. They both count up to the last knot. If the last knot is number 50, then the Earth went around the Sun 50 times since they last saw each other. End of story. The twins can now donate their ‘precise’ atomic clocks to NASA’s museum. The idiots of Mathematics have never learned the first lesson of Mathematics. Measurement is always subjective. An amount (counting) is objective. It is the insistence on measuring and calculating that is the source of so much endless dialogue in relativity. This is the real difference between Physics and Math.

Pastor Al says that his twin brother is half his age