Pastor Al says
that he can
stretch time

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    Last modified 01/11/08


        Copyright © by Nila Gaede 2008

    Perhaps the most sweeping of the three claims of Special Relativity is that time dilates. The verb dilate has
    one essential meaning in ordinary speech. It can mean: to stretch, enlarge, widen, or cause to expand. In
    other words, ‘dilate’ is an action that only physical objects are allowed to perform. Concepts do not dilate!
    If we adhere strictly to this definition, the term ‘time dilation’ equates to the stretching of a second, or of a
    year, or of your gullibility. Unless relativists are talking metaphorically, they have effectively converted the
    abstract subject of a sentence into a real physical object. They are saying that time dilates like your pupils
    dilate when entering a dim room.

    Unfortunately, many relativists include disclaimers, denials, and fine print with their statements and this
    dilutes the entire message. It leaves people confused as to whether the amusing time dilation allegation
    was simply a neat idea that mathematicians invented for a Hollywood science fiction movie or should be
    taken seriously.

    So? Should we take time dilation literally?

    The answer is that the mathematicians do not speak with one voice; there is no consensus with regards to
    this supernatural claim. Some relativists believe that time dilation is a real phenomenon:

    " Because of time dilation, time is running more slowly in the spacecraft as seen by
      the earthbound twin and the traveling twin will find that the earthbound twin will
      be older upon return from the journey. The common question: Is this real? Would
      one twin really be younger? The basic question about whether time dilation is real
      is settled by the muon experiment. The clear implication is that the traveling twin
      would indeed be younger...Despite the experimental difficulties, an experiment on
      a commercial airline confirms the existence of a time difference between ground
      observers and a reference frame moving with respect to them. " [1]

    " Observations particles with a variety of velocities have shown that time dilation is
      a real effect. In fact the only reason cosmic ray muons ever reach the surface of
      the earth before decaying is the time dilation effect." [2]

    Others seem to have arrived at less dramatic physical interpretations of this phenomenon, or maybe they
    are just unwilling to put their reputations and jobs on the line:

    Time dilation is the phenomenon whereby an observer finds that another's clock
      which is physically identical to their own is ticking at a slower rate as measured
      by their own clock..” [3]

    “ It is clear from this description that the effective slowing of these clocks has no
      effect on time itself, but only upon the instrumentation or processes by which we
      choose to measure time.” [4]

    “ And so for yourself in your own frame of reference, to use the jargon, nothing
      would appear to be odd. Clocks would tick at just the same rate as you’re used to.
      Your mental processes would seem to be quite normal, events around you would
      seem to be quite normal.” [5]

    These statements indicate that it was a physical device (either a clock or a human) which suffered some
    type of malfunction. Therefore, if you insist that time is not a physical object and that it is not possible to
    dilate a concept, the mathematical physicists neutralize your objection with fine print: the traveler will not
    experience any change. So you still get no cigar!

    So? Is time dilation a phenomenon that affects clocks (object) or that affects time (concept)? Is relativistic
    time dilation real (independent of observers) or is this going to be another of those psychiatric cases?
    Because if it is merely an issue of appearances and perceptions, the meeting is over. We have nothing
    more to talk about. We don’t need equations to simply get the 'impression' that someone else’s clock
    appears to be running slower. What have they said that is important to Physics? We can drink a bottle
    of moonshine and arrive at the same result.

    Then again, just when you’re walking away, the relativist murmurs under his breath like a latter-day
    Galileo that the effect is ‘real’ (whatever real means to them). It is and must be ‘real’ in the minds of the
    mathematicians for else no one would make such a fuss about Einstein’s theory.

    So let me make it as plain as possible. In regards to length contraction, our mathematicians believe that
    an object really becomes smaller when it travels fast. In regards to mass increase, they believe that the
    quantity of matter of that same object actually increases when it travels at near-c. And likewise, in regards
    to time dilation, the mathematicians blindly believe that there is a physical object known as time that
    stretches like bubble gum. That’s why they talk about this nonsense so much in the official literature. If
    time dilation were strictly a cosmetic effect, it would have long ago faded from memory. Make no mistake.
    In relativity, a week is not an abstract concept. It is a physical object no different than a table or an elephant.
    According to Einstein's idiots, time has the ability to cause startling physical effects (i.e., of a structural
    nature).

    The mathematicians either imply or openly make the following claims:

           handshaking is not simultaneous.

    “ there may be always observers for whom simultaneity won’t correspond to the
      same moments in time and therefore simultaneity is always relative.” [6]

    “ Events which happen at the same time according to Cerulean happen at different
      times according to Vermilion.” [7]

           the speed of light changes the direction of Mickey’s arms on your wrist watch.

    in the case of a hypothetical signal moving faster than light, there would always be
      some frames in which the signal was received before it was sent, so that the signal
      could be said to have moved backwards in time...relativity does not forbid the
      theoretical possibility of tachyons which move faster than light [8]

           your twin sister is biologically and chronologically 20 years younger than you.

    “ If a pair of twins are born on the day the ship leaves, and one goes on the journey
      while the other stays on Earth, they will meet again when the traveler is 5.14 years
      old and the stay-at-home twin is 10.28 years old..” [9]

    Relativists will tell you that these notions are counterintuitive, yet mathematically correct. The purpose of
    such sweeping statements is to show you that you cannot trust your intuition and common sense. You
    should instead accept mathematical fantasy because it is supported by rigorous equations and celebrities
    who have won Nobel Prizes. The foregoing supernatural claims do require that mathematical physicists be
    put in their proper places. They are no longer just mumbling about some nonsensical abstract mathematics
    or invoking an idiotic, trivial philosophy of theirs. Now they have crossed the line into Physics. Here I will
    investigate only those relativistic claims that are relevant to Physics.

    Of course, if we are to analyze these claims, the first hurdle we must overcome is the definition of the word
    time. And guess what? It turns out that like all other mysterious ‘primitives’ of Mathematical Physics, time is
    not difficult to define. The problem is that if we define time rigorously and compel the mathematicians to use
    this definition consistently, it would destroy their arguments and theories. If time is a physical object it can
    be manipulated, stretched, and molded. If time is an abstract concept, it cannot.

    When confronted with the threat of rigorous definitions, the mathematicians always hide behind their
    beloved dualities (i.e., irrational paradoxes) or tell you that the word is 'primitive.' This enables them to
    parry objections to their physical interpretations ad infinitum. They convert time into both, an object and
    a concept. When the skeptic asks them how it is possible to dilate time, they answer that time is a concept
    and that ‘dilate’ is really a euphemism, or that you didn’t understand what they really meant by 'dilate.' T
    hen they continue to treat time as a physical object throughout the rest of the dissertation as if you hadn’t
    lodged a complaint. A relativist builds 4-D space-times and tesseracts with time, warps and dilates time,
    and has even created particles of time named chronons, yet the brick-head denies in your face that he is
    alluding to a physical object.

    The next thing that relativists do is boast that all their predictions have been verified or, in the alternative,
    that none of them has been falsified. These claims put you at a disadvantage in the debate because now
    the mathematician has authority behind him. He will bring this authority to bear against you if you dare to
    question any of his supernatural conclusions.

    So let’s quickly synthesize two of the strategic errors with the dilation claims of relativity:

           The first thing you realize is that most of the 'experiments' that relativists run are
    ‘gedanken’ or thought experiments. These thought experiments have nothing to
    do with Physics or Mathematics. They are actually physical interpretations that the
    mathematicians give to their equations which they sell to you as an experiment or
    observation. What the mathematicians did was dream with their eyes wide open
    and convert the dream into a reality. They call these abstract fantasies 'experiments.'
    Whenever one of Einstein's idiots utters the word 'predict' he means an explanation.
    He is not going to predict what will be the outcome of an experiment. He is giving
    you a retroactive explanation for a known or consummated occurrence. The mathe-
    matician is attempting to hoodwink you into believing that he has a physical interpre-
    tation for a phenomenon of nature when he is actually presenting you with a fantastic,
    irrational, or surrealistic version. Mathematical Physics only offers Ptolemaic expla-
    nations for common phenomena. There is not a single rational explanation for any
    phenomenon of nature in the whole of Mathematical Physics.

           The second thing you realize is that despite all the mathematical precision relativists
    boast about, they end up with distinct physical interpretations for the same pheno-
    menon. These results should make two things plain. Firstly, Physics has nothing to
    do with Math. If the same set of equations lead Einstein's idiots to diametrical conclu-
    sions, the physical interpretation did not emanate from the variables or functions, but
    from the decrepit mind of the mathematician. This is simply his opinion. The next
    mathematician gives you another and justifies it with the same equation. Secondly,
    the supernatural claims of relativity are no better than your intuitive opinions and
    guesses about the Universe. In fact, I would highly recommend to you that you trust
    your personal intuition and disregard anything coming from a university or high level
    institution. The people at Harvard and Cambridge have already bought into Big Bang,
    wormholes, dark matter, virtual particles, and time travel. The 'physicists' in 'high level'
    institutions babble all day about Alice in Wonderland fantasies that in their tiny brains
    they mistake for realities. Why should you believe these morons? Because they were
    granted a Nobel Prize by another group of morons?

    In what follows, I show that the surrealistic conclusions which the gedanken experiments of relativity
    lead to are the result of malleable definitions. The mathematicians incongruously attempt to ‘prove
    qualitative issues (definitions, explanations) with measurement and math. In Science, we don't prove
    definitions or objects. In Science, we define concepts and point to objects.
No you stupid fool!
Your watch did not dilate.
Only
time can dilate!
barging in on the powers that be to
clarify some issues
Dilated Bill
Adapted for the Internet from:

Why God Doesn't Exist

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