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Copyright © by Nila Gaede 2008
Following the classification at the Wikipedia, this is how I rate the professions in regards to their use of the Scientific Method
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Mathematical Physicists
Philosophers, Theists
Street bum, hobo, wino
Of course, you may complain that I am being too generous,
especially with the Mathematical Physicists, but keep in mind
that I am an easy grader and don't like to offend people.
Anthropologists, Paleontologists, Atheists
Dog, cat, fish, ant
Imagine the scenario. An alien comes from another planet to study the behavior of dogs and humans
on Earth. He lands in a cemetery and looks around. A dog comes by, stops by a headstone, raises his
right leg, and takes a whizzz. The ET takes note. Five minutes later a woman comes, holding a bunch a
flowers in her hand. She kneels and kisses the now dry part of the headstone the dog pissed and puts
the flowers in a vase so that they can rot for the next few days. The ET has seen enough. His boss
asks him to write a report about the two creatures he studied on Earth. Who's more intelligent, the dog
or the human? I think it's no contest!
Street bum, hobo, wino
These folks are typically the greatest philosophers in history. They walk around half-naked, holding a
beer they got for free in one hand and shooting the bull for a couple of hours with people who pay to
listen to them. They sleep when sleep catches up to them and not because a clock says so. They don't
wake up in the snowy winter just to punch a card, continue sleeping at the office, and take shit from a
boss. They live off the fat of the land although they contributed nothing to wealth. They are the
greatest parasites on Earth. This certainly has to earn them intelligence credit points!
Anthopologists, paleontologists, atheists
The problem here is arrogance. These folks usually believe they know it all. They are relatively rational
when explaining mundane theories. Their logic sometimes escapes me.
Philosophers, theists
These people are usually off their rocker, especially the professional philosopher. He goes around and
around about petty stuff such as whether a hole or a shadow is an object, or whether Socrates exists
or just is.
Theists make our race look bad with Mother Nature. Theists (and mathematical physicists) are the only
animals in the Wild Kingdom that believe in the existence of God and spirits and magic.
Mathematical Physicists
These have to be the most stupid people on the planet. No contest! They go to the university for ten
years, get a Ph. D., and then babble about wormholes, time travel, and point particles that appear out
of nowhere. They say there is something called dark matter and another thing called dark energy. They
claim that the universe is made of 1-D strings. They have no rivals.
Dog, cat, fish, ant